A chain of coffee drive-ins in the Seattle area goes by the name of Bigfoot Java. Their coffee and drinks are fantastic! I go out of my way to get my coffee from them when I am in the area of one. Their slogan is "Legendary Creature, Legendary Coffee!" The other day on the drive home, Amanda, read the statement on the cup. Here is what it says:
"The Pacific Northwest is home to the legend of Bigfoot!
Numerous sightings have been reported over the years yet no one has been able to prove conclusively whether the creature actually does or does not exist.
BigFoot Java is proud to honor the legend of Bigfoot by providing the best coffee products in the territory!..."
It was really fun laughing with her and thinking of all the other products we could sell to honor Bigfoot. This got me thinking about a letter and it went in the mail today. Enjoy!
October 21, 2008
BigFoot Investment Group, LLC
dba BigFoot Java®
21110 84th Ave. South, Suite 201
Kent, Washington 98032
Dear Fellow Bigfoot Enthusiasts;
It is impossible to measure how delighted I was to being driving down I-5 and to see a place called Bigfoot Java. I have been “hunting” for Bigfoot since I was knee high to a grasshopper with my wife and kids. Traveling all over the Northwest to meet the beast I have tried to use as a role model in my life. Did you know Bigfeets have a clan based society and only take one mate; or that they use only all natural products when raising their Bigfeetlings? Or lastly, and the thing I admire the most, they prepare survival kits to ensure their families existence after Mt. Rainier wipes out earth?
Your idea of having a drive-in coffee stand to honor Bigfoot really got me thinking. I am proud to share that I married into money. My wife’s family owns the largest mobile home park in Mississippi and a couple smaller ones. (By couple I mean fifty-four to be exact.) I would like to also run businesses to honor Bigfoot. It is getting time for my children to continue the hunt while I rest my weary bones and endeavor to do something new. I would try to open my Bigfoot stores as close to your coffee shacks as I can. What would the legal ramifications be if I opened my own Bigfoot stores? They would be in the great Pacific Northwest. Here are some of the possibilities I have thought of:
• Bigfoot Pancakes – I think Bigfeet would be really honored to have the best meal anytime of the day available for them.
• Bigfoot Shoes – Know nothing about shoes but the play on words is too hard to pass up.
• Bigfoot Nail Salon – My wife always wanted to open one of these.
• Bigfoot Baby – Kids are getting fat. We would be the plus size store for kids.
• Bigfoot Adult Entertainment – My wife would like a discount on her “Private Collection.”
• Bigfoot Smoke Shop – Do you have locations on any reservations?
• Bigfoot Car Wash – Brown Bear’s are not nearly as powerful as a Bigfoot.
These are just some of the ideas I can think of while waiting for the kids to put away the tent and for us to move on. Could we set up a meeting to explore some of these ideas? I will be back in civilization over the Thanksgiving holiday for a brief time. We head out today for a five week hunt.
Thanks for helping honor Bigfoot. From now on I will only drink coffee from Bigfoot Java. After I get back from this hunt I will start looking for retail locations and suppliers for this grand venture. The excitement of working alongside other fellow Bigfoot enthusiasts is immense. Perhaps we can even form some kind of partnership. Sponsor the same little league teams, bowling leagues, and curling teams; that kind of thing.
Bigfoot is With Us,
Drew Cremeans
ADDRESS REMOVED AFTER RECEIVING CREEPY MAIL FROM THE BLOG
Marysville, WA 98271
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